cheek to cheek.
“our time was worthless, and i tried; we started over and over again as we let go. we held each other, held hands, held standards and grudges; that’s when I let you know. i guess that goes to show just what i’ve been going through; more nights of hugging my pillow, oh, replaying memories (please) . “
i’m terrible at committing to things like this. three blogs that i was supposed to write have already come and gone… so here’s what you missed:
- me meeting his family.
- him meeting my family.
- halloween,
- and a movie or two.
they all had their own designated stories of horror, but… it’s too late for that. it was up, it was down, it was halloween and that was pretty cool. the rest of my life is all about work, school, and being broke; i’ve spent the weekend at anthony’s and i scored a free chuy’s burrito, so at least i don’t starve :) . anthony and i went to dinner with my parents last night at chuy’s, and it’s not unexpected that we were the only ones sipping alcohol throughout the night (4 martinis for me, 2 margaritas for him) . it was actually a nice night though; my mom is pretty much nice to everyone, and anthony bonded with my dad over their mutual love of a christmas story, port aransas, and the big lebowski. i guess now that we’re both pretty acquainted with the other’s family, i really need to get used to saying the word ‘boyfriend’… i feel weird sometimes that i don’t use that label(?) more often, or use petnames, but then again, i never have, so i might keep on ignoring it. it feels sort of weird how rarely i see the people i used to regularly hang out with too, but there’s not much you can do when somehow other plans always manage to come up… i guess we’ll see. the issue of who stays or goes in my life has been weighing heavy on my mind, because it seems to only just have presented itself as an issue… if it’s not friends who suddenly forget you exist, it’s someone who stomps on you coming back for more. i hate leaving people behind, or cutting people out of my life. it’s not easy for me, and not something i do well, but really, i’m learning more and more what is just too damn unacceptable when it comes to how i’m being treated. it sucks that this new people-screening process might open me up to having less friends, and experiencing a little more loneliness, but… i’m starting to believe that maybe it’s just better to be alone than with people who don’t care about you. it’ll take some getting used to, but, i’m just tired of bullshit in general :( .
but anyway, anthony just came back inside from having a cigarette with his roommate wes, so we’re resuming the heroes marathon, so i can get caught up :) goodnight.
