rough landing, holly.
“and like a heart attack, i know i can’t turn back; and time just passed, nights moved slow…”
since it’s been about forty years since this blog has gone untouched, i should start over with a list of updates.
last season on my tumblr…
* alotta shit with the ex-boy (who i only refer to as ex- because he so labeled me first). i’ll skip over all of the heartbreak and trainwreck moments to just say… i’m trying to recover, and slowly but surely, it’s working. it’s working well enough for me to be able to actually admit that i just miss his company when he chooses to play fair, and that even after wading through all that bullshit, i still hope we can be friends like we were in the beginning. even though i don’t meet all demands, the silence has at least been broken between us, and even though it’s infrequent, he answers when i speak, which i will take as a good sign for now.
* there is a new kid on the block (anthony). it’s nice. i have a hard time explaining how i feel about abandoning all of my mis- or pre- conceptions about having a boyfriend again (thanks to that fear-of-the-unknown instinct that always kicks in) but all anyone else really needs to know is that i like it and i’m happy. after all, those are the only things i’m focusing on while i re-learn all of this again, so… i believe it is a justified response :) . besides, regardless of anything and everything, he is amazing (enough to bring me freebirds in between classes) so… that is that, and that only. no argument.
* i’m still lugging around some hefty tuition fines (dammit) but with some blood, sweat, tears, and a payment plan, i’m earning the rights to a decent education. i’ve even settles on a university to transfer to, which is all-exhilarating until i think about being apart from all of my people… my heart is already breaking, i know, it just hasn’t gotten really bad yet. this is one of the few occasions i will permit anyone to hope something falls through for me. i don’t look forward to any kind of separation.
* there is a church’s chicken at the round rock outlet mall. i’m not much for fried food, but their shrimp basket and their jalapeno poppers are life-changing.
okay, not really. the last one was comic relief, something to remind me to not let everything else weigh too heavy on my mind and drive me crazy… although after listening to a lecture about the poo poo choo choo in geology, maybe i should already know not to take things too seriously. anyway, i need some tivo and some sleep, so, until next time, internet world :) .
but for real about those jalapeno poppers. they’re called bombers for a reason.
